Christmas

My favourite thing about Christmas this year was being mellow and relaxing.  My least favourite part was that it was my sister's turn to go to her in-laws.  I missed her a lot.

How about you?  What were your favourite and least favourite things?  Or other thoughts you would like to share?

Silliness

The last few posts have been pretty heavy.  Today I am feeling pretty good, the world is light, so I think this needs a lighter subject.  Silliness has been a big part of my life in general.  I find it is a good way to relieve tension and laugh and laugh and laugh.  My parents are awesome at being silly and I am trying hard to carry this trait on.  I showed off my silly last night with some people I had just met.  I was playing pool and whenever a ball would get close to the pocket and not go in, I would lean over and blow on the ball.  Silly, not effective for pool, but effective for making people laugh and it seemed feel better about their lives.

What are some of your favourite silly moments?

On bullying

I have heard a lot about programs to eliminate bullying in schools of late.  I applaud these programs.  I want to talk about something else.  Bullying doesn't happen only in schools or to kids or teenagers.  Workplace bullying happens, more than most of us think.  I've seen it, in fact I've been the target of it.  At a previous job I had, my boss there was a bully.  She did everything she could to discredit me, to undermine me and to make my life miserable.  The culture of that organization made it possible for her to do this as poor behaviour was never addressed and so after trying a few different things I left.

Being the target of a bully is brutal.  It made me so anxious I could hardly sleep.  It drove me to contemplate suicide at one point.  I started to question everything I did at work.  I withdrew from my life and just tried to survive. 

The media focus is so much on kids that it is hard to do anything about being a target as an adult.  It made me feel weak, like I should have been able to handle it.  I didn't use the word bully because that was a problem kids had, not adults... etc... etc...  I'm not suggesting we do less for bullying in schools, I am suggesting we do more about bullying in other settings.

Ok, so this blog is supposed to be about discussion.  I don't have a specific question for you to answer, but I would like to hear what you think about this topic.  Have you seen it?  Have you been a target?  A bully?  A bystander?  What can we do?  How can we handle it?

On jokes about suicide

This is a bit of a soapbox for me.  I welcome your comments on it however.  Jokes about suicide really bother me.  They trivialize something that is not funny nor trivial.  This is turn makes it harder for people who are thinking of suicide to talk to other people about it.  Fear of being marginalized, of not being taken seriously, of being the butt end of a joke.  Please, please watch what you say, it might matter a lot more than you think.

On gender roles

I can't say it any better so I will refer you to the Globe and Mail article.  In any society there are expectations around gender roles.  In theory Canada is one of the better places, but it seems like equality is not well understood.  In my view, it's not really about women having equality, it's about everyone.  Why should men be afraid to show emotion?  Why should women feel like they have to be really masculine to succeed in business?  Why should women be afraid to show that they can renovate a house or chop wood?  Why should men be afraid to hug a friend in need?  Why do we have so many programs for abused women and seemingly none for men?  The list of questions goes on and on for me.  I would love your comments on this issue.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/love/micah-toub/its-time-boys-learn-the-f-word/article2240127/

Labels

A friend of mine and I were talking about labels we put on other people.  My view is that they are not productive.  They allow us to expect certain behaviour of other people even when that might not be the way that person wants to react.  When we expect certain behaviour of others we deny them an opportunity to really be themselves.  This also then denies us the opportunity to really know them.

Your thoughts?

Winter

Ok, a bit of a rant.

What is it about the oncoming winter that makes drivers especially unaware of pedestrians?  In the last 2 days I have nearly been hit 3 times while in a cross walk.  Twice while crossing at a light when I had the walk signal.  And, at least 2 of those time, it was light out.  Once yesterday I could have banged on the hood of the car she was so close to getting me.  Good thing I was paying attention or I might not be writing this blog right now.  What is up?  Seriously, just because it is darker in the mornings doesn't mean there are any less pedestrians trying to cross the road.  Please pay attention.  Pedestrians don't want to be hit and I am sure you don't want to hit one.